This question has become my least favorite questions. It seems like an innocent question to ask. But for someone who is grieving it is probably the hardest question to answer. What do you say? Do you tell the person asking the question the truth? Do you just say “okay” and move away from the conversation before you break into tears?
I have been asked that very question many times since Ben died. Sometimes the best I can do is say that I am hanging in there. Grief is a tough road to walk. Some days it is a success to just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving.
Being asked how you are doing reminds you that things are not as they should be. There is someone missing. Everything is different than it was just weeks or months ago. While those grieving understand the person asking the question asks because they care, it doesn’t make it any easier to answer the question.
Should people not ask a grieving person how they are doing? Not necessarily. But understand that though the question seems simple enough, it is a difficult one to answer. When you are in the midst of great grief it is hard to even think. A hug and letting the grieving person know you are praying for him/her would be a great comfort.
For the Love of Ben 