School has been back in session in our district for 4 weeks now. With the start of school comes a return to a routine. Soccer is in full swing and Sabin is also playing football this year. I will be a busy mom this fall! Last year on Labor Day weekend I convinced Ben that we should travel to Ohio so we could watch his brother’s two oldest boys play in their football games. It worked out well since Michigan has a law on the books that bars schools from holding class on the Friday before Labor Day. That means we can travel down to Ohio and be there in time to get to the football game and Sabin doesn’t miss school. It was supposed to become a Labor Day weekend tradition. It was nice to have a new tradition after the annual Labor Day family camp at Pleasant Valley Bible Camp was no longer happening. Sadly the tradition got upended. No longer would it include Ben. Sabin and I did travel to OH on Friday to watch the oldest nephew’s game. Unfortunately we couldn’t stick around as we had to get to Indiana for a soccer tournament Sabin’s team was playing in.
We had to be back in time for Sabin to get to football practice on Labor Day so after the Sunday morning soccer game, we headed home. Before we did, we made a visit to a local ice cream shop. They had a few dozen flavors, all handmade. Sabin and I both settled on chocolate peanut butter brownie. We sat at one of the tables outside the ice cream shop. We talked some about the games and school. Then Sabin said “daddy would have really liked this flavor”. I nearly lost it because he was right. And it made me miss Ben so much. It is definitely not the same without Ben. We finished our ice cream cones and headed for home. It was a four hour drive ahead of us. I had not slept the greatest and had to be up early Saturday morning so I was pretty tired. I sure missed Ben being our driver.
Sabin played in his first 2 tackle football games. He is really enjoying football. He is the kicker and has been doing a great job at it. His very first kick off went over the other team’s heads and they picked it up at the 10 yard line. Unfortunately they ran it back for a touchdown. Sabin’s team scored 3 touchdowns in that game which meant 3 opportunities for Sabin to attempt the points after touchdown. In youth leagues a kick counts as 2 points after a touchdown. He missed the first one just to the left. I thought he had made it and was celebrating until I saw the ref signal that it was no good. But he made the other 2 kicks. They ended up winning the game 22-20 because the other team missed 2 of their 3 kicks. In the second game of the season Sabin made the first 2 kicks. His third attempt he kicked into the back of his line. He also got to attempt a 40 yard field goal but came up about 5 yards short. The team would have gone nuts if he had made it. After the first game, Sabin game home with a Player of the Week shirt. Sabin said the coach said that he never thought he would say he was glad to have a kicker. But that was the difference in that first game. The second game was a 22-6 victory. It has been fun to watch Sabin play. He actually has gotten quite a bit of playing time besides the kicking. I didn’t expect too much since this is his first year to ever play tackle football.
Since Labor Day weekend it has been a pretty rough time for me. Grief comes in waves and the waves have been crashing in a lot the last couple of weeks. Some of it is because of all the things that Ben is missing–soccer games, football games, etc. Another piece is related to a friend from church whose husband has been given a “will not recover” diagnosis after complications post surgery. My heart breaks for her and her family. I know what it is to hear those words. You still cling to the hope of a miracle because you know God is the creator and the great physician and can heal despite what medical professionals tell you. I hate that anyone has to experience similar things as I did. I know the grief and pain that she is experiencing.
Back in January I made a couple of goals for this year. One of them was this blog. The second was to run a 5k in honor of Ben. He ran the Grand Rapids half marathon twice. I figured that if he could do that, I could run a 5k. Being the crazy person that I am I have actually signed up to run 2 other races. One is a virtual one that my twin and I will run on October 31st. The second is an in-person race on November 5th. That was the date of Ben’s memorial service. The first one I signed up for is on October 8th. I have been training for the races and am glad that it hasn’t killed me yet. I found an app that has a couch to 5k plan that I have been using. As I have gotten into running (which I don’t really enjoy) I started thinking that I need to run a half marathon. . . because if Ben could do that then I can too. That will have to be a goal for next year though. It is too late in the year to get trained up for 13.1 miles.
As I sit here in the middle of September, October looms on the horizon. October will not be easy for me. It will be the last month of firsts for me. I already expect to be a wreck on the 31st so I took the day off from work. I have plans to honor Ben by taking one of the buckeye trees in the backyard over to Lakewood to plant. I told Sabin he doesn’t have to go to school that day and that he can go with me to plant the tree. We will do our best to remember and honor Ben on that day.
For the Love of Ben 