Difficult times in life cause us to grow and change. Extremely difficult times can be life altering and perspective changing. The things that we used to think were so important lose their significance. It doesn’t matter anymore what the score of the big game was. Watching the latest blockbuster movie doesn’t matter. Keeping up with the latest TV shows is meaningless.
I have always loved watching football games. The last couple of years it really hasn’t been that important to me. I used to follow and watch as many games as I could. Not so much anymore. There will usually be football games on the TV but I don’t tend to pay as close attention to them anymore. In the end it doesn’t really matter much who wins or who loses. It can be a fun distraction. But if my team loses, my life won’t change. My view of life won’t change.
Those of us who have gotten married have a different perspective than those that have never been married. Those blessed to be a mother or father also have a different perspective on life. When that baby is born, your life is changed drastically. Decisions are made differently because of that new precious life. Those that have experienced the death of a parent or spouse at a relatively young age have a very different perspective on life as well.
When major life events happen (good or bad), it is as if you are handed a new set of eyeglasses that changes how you view the world and how you make decisions. After the wedding day, a husband and wife become a team of two. Important decisions are made together. Those decisions are made based on what is best for both of you. When your baby is put in your arms, life changes instantly. You want the best for that baby. You will sacrifice for that child.
The death of a spouse gives you a new perspective too. The things that are important to you change. Family becomes even more important. You realize how much you took for granted. The way you make decisions changes. No longer do you have your spouse to make decisions with. You have to make decisions alone.
I sat in church after service this Sunday talking with a fellow widow. We were discussing how our perspectives have changed since the deaths of our husbands. I mentioned that before Ben died that I was pretty content with how life was going. I looked forward to heaven and eternity but didn’t yearn for it. Now I very much look forward to the day I enter eternity. We both have a perspective that has been changed. We enjoyed how our lives were. That all changed the day our husbands died. We both miss them terribly and eagerly look forward to the day we will see them again. But at the same time we also agree that we don’t want the time between now and then to be wasted. As painful as this time is, we want it to be used by God to accomplish His purposes. Nobody can see the future or know what will happen down the road but there is a reason we are each walking this road of widowhood.
As the new year begins many people make resolutions or goals. Some choose a word or phrase for the year. Last year was the first time I made any goals for the year. It may be the only time that I do that. I don’t have a major goals for this year. I haven’t chosen a word for phrase for the year either. What I do have is a life verse. It is Isaiah 41:10:
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
No matter what comes my way this year and the years to come, I will cling to this promise. I am not alone even if sometimes it fees like it.
For the Love of Ben 