This winter I found myself stuck in a snow bank. Sabin and I were on our way home from one his bowling matches when a snowstorm hit hard and fast. The snow was coming down pretty quickly and the wind was blowing 45 mph. That kind of wind, combined with the snow, quickly created snow drifts on north-south roads. As I drove south I came up over a hill and there was a snow drift covering a good portion of our lane. As I plowed into it, the car lost traction and slid into the other lane. I tried to maintain control and get back in my lane to avoid the oncoming traffic. I was able to keep the car on the road and get back into our lane but then ended up in a snow bank just off the side of the road.
After the car came to a stop it was Sabin who helped bring perspective to the situation. Neither of us were injured. The car was still running. I managed to avoid a collision with another vehicle and avoided rolling the car. Though we were stuck in a large snow bank, it could have been much worse.
My first instinct was to break down in tears because I knew I didn’t have a husband or a dad that could help us. Thankfully I had Sabin in the car. He immediately said “we are okay”. I knew we needed to see how stuck we were. But first I needed to take a few deep breaths. After a minute or two to calm down, I put the car back in gear and attempted to get back onto the road. We didn’t move at all. Sabin sprang into action putting his hat and gloves on and hopping out of the car to see about clearing some snow so we could get out. Unfortunately there was nothing we were going to be able to do to get ourselves out of the snow bank. A kind stranger stopped to help but he wasn’t able to budge the car with what he had.
Given the weather conditions and our location just over the crest of a hill and being barely off the side of the road, I decided our best option was to call a tow truck. The exhaust was clear of snow so we were able to stay warm while we waited the 20 minutes for the tow truck to arrive. It took the tow truck a few tugs and pulls to get the car to a place where I could drive out of the snow bank. The rest of the drive home was slow and nerve wracking but we eventually made it home safely.
Early this spring one of the volunteer coaches for the high school soccer team died in a car accident. He worked mostly with the keepers so he worked with Sabin quite a bit. Someone asked me how Sabin was doing with that. My first response was, “he is a lot like his dad”. It was shocking news for us as the coach was just 23 years old. But Sabin handled it much like Ben would have. In the emotions department, Sabin is like his dad and not his mom. When Ben and I had experienced hard times, his confidence was always in God and His plan. That though it was difficult, we would make it through. I see some of that same attitude in Sabin, just like his dad.
When he does or says things that Ben would have done or said, I shake my head and think “just like his dad”. There is a bit of comfort to see Ben in our son. I’m sure Ben would be happy to see that the impact of his life lives on in others. That just because death claimed him, his influence and impact continues on.
I am grateful that Ben’s legacy can live on through the lives of our children. Ben demonstrated a model for our son to follow of how to be a wonderful father and husband. As we just celebrated Father’s Day, it was a bittersweet day. It was the first without my dad. And without Ben here, I didn’t have anybody here to celebrate. I tried my best to honor their memories though. They both loved ice cream (especially Ben) so I made sure to enjoy some in their honor. I was also able to visit my dad’s gravesite. I never thought I would be one to visit the cemetery. I am glad I did. It is so peaceful and gave me an opportunity to reflect on my dad’s life and the legacy he has left and the impact he has had on my life. I miss my dad and Ben but they had the best Father’s Day as they were with their heavenly father.
For the Love of Ben 