Category: 2022

Sometimes someone or something comes to mind and I become a wreck. That happened a couple of times yesterday. There are times where I just miss Ben so much. So many things that I wish he was here for me to tell him about. Over the years it seems I have become known as someone […]

Last night my son, Sabin, had a choir concert for his choir class at school. That meant I had to miss the second session of the GriefShare group. Sabin did a good job as did all the students and groups. As I entered the performing arts center I grabbed a program and found a seat […]

When I have a few moments here and there to ponder things, my mind wanders to the things that I miss most since Ben died. The list is so long. Many of the things I miss most are also things that bring a smile to my face as I think about the memories related to […]

Today marks 3 months since my Ben entered the presence of his Savior, Jesus. I miss him just as much today as I have everyday since then. So often I have wished that I could go back in time and change something so that this present reality would be different than what I am living. […]

A dear friend and fellow widow sent me a Christmas card and put some money in it with a note to buy myself something that I wanted. She knew all too well how hard Christmas can be that first year. She lost her husband around Thanksgiving 13 years ago. Ben would usually ask me a […]

Earlier this week as I drove to the school for my job in the drop off line, I was listening to the radio. My favorite in the mornings is Moody radio. I enjoy hearing the morning team. On Tuesday morning there was a clip of an interview with Toby Mac. He was talking about losing […]

Today is Martin Luther King Jr Day. This year my company gave us the day off. I volunteered to work at the school to cover for someone who is out sick. It was only a half day so I had the rest of the day to get some chores done. I had a lot on […]

When I met with the pastors to plan Ben’s memorial service they asked if any of us wanted to say something. Both my kids and my son-in-law said they would like to say something. I didn’t figure that I would be able to hold it together to read or say anything. I did however write […]

As I sat in my office today tears were streaming down my cheeks. I noticed that the Kleenex I pulled out of the box was now a light peach color where the one before it was white. It seems like a little thing but the people at Kleenex put a different color of tissue at […]

Before October 31st I had very little understanding of how hard it is to lose a close loved one. I knew it was difficult. But I had no clue how extremely difficult. Brutal is the word I often use to describe what it is like to lose a spouse. When you get married the imagery […]