Where do I even start? When Ben entered my life I would have never expected that I would fall in love with him and one day marry him. The depth of the loss and grief I feel is equal to the depth of my love for him. He was my best friend. He was my husband. He was the father of my children. He was the better half of us.
God granted him just over 44 years here on this earth. Of those 44 years I had the privilege of being his wife for 22 years, 2 months and 3 days. When we exchanged vows at our wedding we pledged loyalty to each other until death would part us. Neither one of us knew back then that that time would come so soon.
Nothing can ever prepare you for losing a spouse. Everything changes in the blink of an eye. There were times where Ben was away for a week or a weekend. Or times where I was away from Ben for a few days. During those times there was always the expectation of returning and being with each other. And we could always still communicate with each other. Death takes all of that away. No matter how long I wait, Ben is not going to walk through the front door. When I return home, he will not be here. I cannot have a conversation with him. I can’t ask his opinion or share my frustration with him.
It has been 2 months since Ben entered heaven. There is not a day that has gone by that tears were not a part of my day. We made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. None of them were the same without Ben. None of them were easy.
For the Love of Ben 