Who was Ben?

When I met with the pastors to plan Ben’s memorial service they asked if any of us wanted to say something. Both my kids and my son-in-law said they would like to say something. I didn’t figure that I would be able to hold it together to read or say anything. I did however write out what I would have said had I been able to hold it together. The following is what I wrote up.

Who was Ben?

Ben was one of a kind. He lived life to the fullest. He loved to have fun and joke around with people. He could be serious when needed but when it wasn’t necessary, he was going to have fun. If you were a Michigan State or Michigan fan you were sure to get ribbed and picked on by him.

Ben was a Buckeye through and through. He was passionate about his Buckeyes. As they blew teams out this season, he would watch every play. He would not change the channel even when there was only 1 minute left and they were up 55-0. I guess he even liked to see those last few kneel downs!

Ben was a father. He loved his kids with all his heart. He was so proud of them. His dream family was to have all boys. Girls were just too much work he thought. When we were pregnant for Callie and we had our first ultrasound they told us that we were having a girl. But they said that they can never be 100% sure. That gave Ben the hope that he could still have a boy. Even after several more ultrasounds and each time them confirming that we were indeed having a girl. He still held to that slim hope they were wrong. Of course they were not and we were blessed with a little girl, Callie Mae. It took 8 years before God blessed us with another child but Ben was over the moon to be having a boy.

Ben was the best husband. He spoiled me. Just before he went in the hospital we had to get a new car because ours was totaled. He insisted on a new vehicle instead of used because he didn’t want to buy someone else’s problems. He was excited to get me a new car. He was always on my side. Except on the Saturday after Thanksgiving when his Buckeyes played my Wolverines!

I heard story after story yesterday as person after person that Ben worked with came through, Ben was a great co-worker. He was a hard worker. He was very good at what he did. He loved his job at Lakewood. Sometime in the first year, there was an opportunity for him to potentially get a different job. He didn’t even entertain the idea as he LOVED where he worked.

Ben loved to have fun. He was sarcastic. He was competitive. He was compassionate. He was generous. He portrayed a hard exterior but inside he was a big softie.

Ben was always looking for ways that he could serve others. When a friend was down on her luck and needed a new place to live he decided that he would buy a house so that she could have a nice place to live. If my dad needed help with something, he was right there to help. If there was a project at church, you could count on Ben being there to help with it.

Ben was a vocal supporter of his kids in sports. We kind of fell into being a soccer family. Neither one of us grew up playing soccer. Ben took to it right away. He even volunteered to be the assistant coach for Callie’s first team. As the kids have grown and played on various teams, he was always on the sidelines cheering on not just Callie and Sabin but the whole team. He knew the names of all the kids and when the game was over he made it a point to acknowledge the effort of every player.

Above all these things though, Ben was first and foremost a Child of God. He lived his faith every day. His faith was extremely strong. When his mother passed away it was difficult. But he never wavered in his faith that God had a plan. One night I was crying about the fact that Callie wouldn’t grow up with her grandma. He told me that it would be okay and that God had a plan. When we walked through 2 miscarriages, he was steadfast in his faith that God had a plan and it wasn’t meant to be at that time.

He didn’t beat anyone over the head with a Bible. He just lived out his faith. He was an example to his family and all that met him.

There are a ton more things I could say and a thousand more stories I could add. But above is what I had written out. As I sat and listened to the pastor’s eulogy for Ben he nailed just about everything I have listed above. He had a few different stories to add but he perfectly captured who Ben was.