Category: 2022

When you have children you are not given a manual on how to raise them. You do the best you can. I feel like grieving is the same. There are lots of books about grief and grieving but there is no one way for how you should grieve the loss of a spouse. Everybody’s experience […]

For anybody that was unable to be at Ben’s memorial service and would like to view it, here it is. Over the years I have gone to a number of funerals and memorial services. Each one is as unique as the person being remembered. I remember by maternal grandmother’s funeral service. It was not a […]

What if? It is a question that can drive you to madness. What if Ben had gotten tested when his co-worker said that his symptoms sounded like COVID? What if we had never put Ben on the ventilator? What if Ben had gotten the shots? What if I had taken him to a different hospital? […]

When I was at Moody I played with the Symphonic Band for 2 years. Each spring we would go on a 2 week long tour over spring break. We would perform at churches, schools and various other places. As part of the concerts, our director had members of the band volunteer to introduce the songs […]

This question has become my least favorite questions. It seems like an innocent question to ask. But for someone who is grieving it is probably the hardest question to answer. What do you say? Do you tell the person asking the question the truth? Do you just say “okay” and move away from the conversation […]

I never imagined that I would obtain the title of widow at the age of 46. How did that happen? Life was going along smoothly. Ben had a job that he loved. I had a job that paid me well. Our daughter, Callie, was married and approaching her one year anniversary. Our son, Sabin, was […]

Where do I even start? When Ben entered my life I would have never expected that I would fall in love with him and one day marry him. The depth of the loss and grief I feel is equal to the depth of my love for him. He was my best friend. He was my […]